there ain't no party like one for your dead ancestors

When I received my invitation packet to serve as a volunteer in Cambodia last April, one of the pieces of information I recall is that Cambodia has an astounding number of national holidays, maybe the most of any Asian country. Suffice to say, I haven't spent much time in the classroom since arriving to site over a month ago. Part of that is that the school year didn't start until October 1st, but also we are in the midst of one of the three largest holidays of the year, Pchum Ben (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pchum_Ben). I only have a few days off according to my school director to celebrate this holiday, and should be back to work tomorrow unless the passing away of the former King Norodom Sihanouk postpones school further. The celebrations for this holiday have been occurring for 15 days, from Oct. 1st toward the culminating day on the 15th, and each day I saw women dressed in white blouses and ornate sampots head to the wat with Khmer lunchboxes full of offerings for the monks. This small break has been a great opportunity to spend some time with my family and friends to learn what this holiday is all about. I heard some rumors about the holiday, such as, you go to the wat at 4 in the morning and throw rice at the monks to honor your dead ancestors who were relegated to hell. I found this hard to believe, but I did tell everyone I knew that I wanted to go to the wat to see what actually goes on. I prepared myself for disappointment as every plea was responded to with a smile and no concrete plans had been put in place. Planning for the future is something I often do, but is not common among Khmer people who spend more time in the present moment. To my surprise, I ended up being able to celebrate this holiday in three separate instances. My family and friends understood how much I desire to learn about Khmer culture and religion and would not have left me hanging out on my computer solo at home. Many pictures document each day, so please check out my Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sam_wise/sets/72157631710877176/

Part 1: Saturday, Mom's village

Preparing the grounds

The whole neighborhood joined us in my mom's village to head to the wat. Family relations are confusing here, especially when you don't speak Khmer very well, because everyone refers to each other using the terms "aunt, uncle, brother, sister". So even though I understood that many of my neighbors are in fact my mom's siblings or parents, it seems that more are than I even believed. When we arrived in the village, we changed into our white tops and sampots, which are customary to head to the wat and went to the nearby wat. About 40 family members were there and the first thing we did was prepare one of the spirit houses. They cleaned the grounds, set up rice mats, started dishing out food and wrapping offerings. Two monks came over when the preparation was complete to bless the family. After this was complete, we entered the wat which was buzzing with people. I sat and observed as various members of my family would go either to the altar to pray and get incense or bring money to older people with microphones who would then bless them. We then went back to a relative's home, ate a lot in gender separated circles, drank some beer, napped and then headed home. A pleasant day where I was able to meet many new relatives, but no crazy rice throwing had occurred.

Part 2: Monday, Wat Sangsamai with friends

Inside the wat

Note the man holding "Khmer lunchboxes"

A friend here in town understood that I really wanted to go to the wat and celebrate the holiday so she invited me to join her family. Luckily we did not go at 4 AM, even though I originally believed that she invited me to join at that time, but rather 9 AM. Once we arrived at the wat, I saw another friend who I chatted with briefly which recalled feelings of holidays in the States. This gathering at the wat felt like a familiar community, partially because the wat is in my town and I continued to see other familiar faces and co-workers. Beyond the rituals and religious aspects, I also began to recognize the importance of families and friends convening to greet and converse at both wats I had attended. My trip to this wat was very different than the one described above as my friend's family had me follow their footsteps and partake in every ritual they did. That also meant that I needed a lot of instruction as I kept doing things wrong. Buddhists seem to be pretty understanding about this though and I felt comfortable making mistakes in ways that I had not in past experiences at churches or mosques. We first went straight to the front where the monks were sitting, and I knew that it was disrespectful to be standing above the monks so I tried to sit down immediately and then was informed to move all the way down. One of the monks spoke English to me and told me to "give the food to the monks" as I was carrying one of the Khmer lunchboxes. So I started to open it up, but this was meant as a symbolic offering which meant I should just place it in front of him. We bowed, gave some money and we moved on. I followed as they brought food to various offering spots where there were piles of food (I really wondered where it all goes after). We spooned rice into various dishes which was to honor the ancestors and I was told to sit down several times intermittently while incorporating some bowing, since I was profusely sweating, underneath one of the fans. I was brought to the altar to get incense, which we then brought outside to a separate offering area as the incense smoke burned all of our eyes. Some yaays (grandmas) stopped me to talk to me about the usual: "you are so beautiful", "oh you're a volunteer" and grabbed my "white" skin a bit before we headed back inside to sit for a prolonged period of time. It was probably about a 30 minute period, but when you are sitting with your legs bent to one side (the proper way to sit) and discomfort begins to radiate from your joints, it feels more like an hour. I talked to some more women, tried to explain to a yaay that my skin is not white, which is the prized skin color here, but it is in fact dark. I attempted to spread the cultural concept that all skin colors are beautiful (something I try quite often) and she smiled and turned back around. After all this, we headed back home and I ate lunch with my friend's family before a long rest in preparation for some sort of boat ceremony at the riverside later in the afternoon.

Part 3: Monday, Riverside boat festivities

Launching of a larger boat and the mini one inside

I reunited with my friend's family and after explaining several times that I would not ride on their moto, but trail behind on my bike, we took off following a caravan/parade of trucks coming from various wats around town. The trucks had larger boats decorated and made of cardboard roughly the actual size of a row boat, while my friends and many other community members brought miniature versions of boats with offerings. We slowly followed the parade which many new trucks joined and others walked alongside asking the crowds for money/offerings. We made it to the pier and waited for the caravan to arrive. Crowds coalesced which we watched from the gazebo at the end. This festive, carnival-like atmosphere was not what I had seen in the wats so it was hard to understand how these ceremonies were connected. All the monks in attendance were very excited to light things on fire and get the party started. I was taken down to the waterfront and got on a boat with my friend and her son to take their boat off for its launching. Loud fireworks were set off one after another on the boats as the passengers ducked in fear. I didn't find this too scary, although at one point, a spark did land in my hair and a fellow passenger patted it out for me. Everyone on the boat thoroughly enjoyed this and many wanted to smell my burnt hair after. Many sparklers and fireworks were set off as everyone cheered and danced around the boat. The energy on the boat was palpable and I knew that I was very lucky to be able to participate in this event in this way. I am fairly certain that this is one of the more exciting things I will experience during my time here at site. But maybe I'll be proven wrong any time in the next two years when I look back on this post...

Found my sisters and cousins in the crowds

The evening ended with a picnic-style potluck dinner outside my house with about 15 adults sitting around chatting, drinking and eating. It was the most time I've been able to spend with my larger family and was able to get to know them a bit better and have some interesting conversations. I snuck off to bed before the second case of beer was opened.

No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should

A favorite of mine sprang into my head a few days ago: the Desiderata. Please check it out: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/~gongsu/desiderata_textonly.html

Also this word was passed onto me by a friend:

tardigrade \TAHR-di-greyd\, adjective:

1. Slow in pace or movement.
2. Belonging or pertaining to the phylum Tardigrada.

noun:
1. Also called bear animalcule, water bear. Any microscopic, chiefly herbivorous invertebrate of the phylum Tardigrada, living in water, on mosses, lichens, etc.

The days were long and boring as we walked a continuous almost tardigrade pace around several large buildings, again with empty carbines.
-- Stafford O. Chenevert, Amber Waves of Grain

…the soldiers were struggling and fighting their way after them, in such tardigrade fashion as their hoof-shaped shoes would allow—impeded, but not very resolutely attacked, by the people.
-- George Eliot, Romola

He rolls tardigrade, to a stop on a shoulder, stooped in sand, in its pretense as it doesn't exist and there's only desert…
-- Joshua Cohen, Witz

Related to the common word tardy, tardigrade comes from the Latin word tardigradus meaning "slow-paced."

As life is slower in Cambodia and as a PCV, it's interesting to consider the negative connotations of the word "tardy" and compare it to the concept of "slow-paced". When I arrived tardy to a class I was observing today, it was due to rain which slows things down here. If I had done so in America, I would have to apologize profusely and make an excuse. It just goes without saying here, which I think will be sometimes a bit liberating and simultaneously frustrating.

"Do you have free time today?"

It's been a month since I arrived at my site, and it has simultaneously flown by/crawled at a snails pace. If you notice a similar theme running through my blog posts thus far, I would say it's due to an approach I've been taking to my time here. My dad gave me a book many years ago that I happened to bring with me as one of my few non-electronic books: "Wherever You Go There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He writes about many Buddhist principles, mindfulness and being present in terms of the practice of meditation and weaving these concepts into everyday living. I have been reading a chapter or two each morning in an attempt to change my mindset from a momentum based non-stop work ethic to one of flexibility and understanding. One of the reasons I came here was to do just this and transition from my hectic life teaching at a high stakes inner-city charter school, and this is definitely the antidote to my former life. School started up this past week after three weeks dedicated to living here and familiarizing myself with my town. I have an incredibly difficult time sitting still, so this has proven to be a trying time for me. I am happy to say that due to coming here with an open mind, it has been surprisingly easy to become accustomed to the pace at which I approach each day. Literally, I begin to wear a watch less, unless I'm working, as an attempt to let time flow a bit more organically. Since I tend to be a very analytical/philosophical thinker, my mind is preoccupied with these thoughts for much of my day, so part of sharing my lifestyle here, is sharing what's in my busy little head.

On another note, school did start last week which was not what as I was necessarily expecting as I have heard that many schools did not really start until after the Pchum Ben holiday which is around the 15th of October, but really began October 1st. Here are some selections of notes that I took on the first day of school:

*Arrive at 7, no one is here as it is raining except for a JICA (Japan International Cooperation Agency) volunteer
*Invited into her office which has many electronic pianos and computers (maybe a staff lounge?)
*Spoke to a psychology teacher who knew a lot of English, he said he didn't know the schedule for the day or when classes would even start; in fact he thought that the director was at a workshop through this week
*Director shows up (I breathe a sigh of relief) then facilities guy shows up and gets to clearing out a desk for me immediately (doesn't seem most teachers have desks, only the other volunteer)
*Some other teachers show up as do some students, no sign of action at 8:30
*Meeting begins at 9 (pictures below), seems semi-official as I am instructed to sit at a table with artificial flowers up front along with the three Japanese volunteers and the school director
*All volunteers introduce themselves to the 60ish second year trainees in attendance, I give an impromptu Khmer speech; other teachers give some words of wisdom it seems, when asked if I had anything to contribute to that, I declined
*Students are then released to do the inaugural school cleaning; I awkwardly loiter around my new office while other teachers seem to be playing games on the computers - I am informed school would not start until two days from then so I head home for lunch

Although I am not teaching at a high school or primary school so this experience was not directly comparable to my first days of school as a student and teacher in the States, this was definitely very different than I had imagined.

Infrastructure does not inhibit learning

Teacher Trainees

School starting means that I now have more of a regular schedule. In addition to a 2-4 hours of teaching at the PTTC, I am continuing to teach an English class several hours a week to staff at my school and have just begun assisting my tutor in teaching one of his free English classes each day. He is a great teacher to work alongside, and he has great students who are eager and curious learners which is not too common among Khmer students who tend to be more reserved and obedient (which is a huge difference from my years teaching American students). One of my co-teachers referred to the teacher trainees who range in age from 18-28 "dull" and further explained that they tend to listen but not respond too often. Critical thinking is not a common task asked of students throughout there education here and groupwork dominates individual thought production. This is evident whenever a student is called on, it is a class effort to help that student complete the task at hand. Students are not often held responsible to generate independent thought. I look forward to changing that.

This semblance of a schedule means I have less "free time" which is a common refrain I hear from new "friends" or students that I talk to: "Teacher/Sam, do you have any free time?" I'm still working on what this truly means when it is asked of me as the Khmer concept of free time is not the same as mine. I can happily report that I think I have begun to make some Khmer friends, some women who are around my age and also some characters in the market. It may be too early to say, but I shall call them my friends for the time being. It's sometimes hard to determine someone's motive in coming to talk to me or expressing interest in spending time with me as I was warned before coming that people just like to be seen with the token foreigner or may want free English lessons. I like to think that these people do not belong in that category as I do not get those vibes from them and one even bought me chocolate ice cream at the Tela (a pricey treat that equals true friendship). When I am not making plans with new friends, I still spend plenty of time with my sisters and the neighborhood gaggle of children. Today I made them brownies (although it turned out to be more chocolate cakey) for the second time which we now also associate with watching "Mulan". I like to think of this as a session of culture sharing. Notice how enthralled they are below:

Mulan in English, I think they still got it

Please check out some new pics of ongui langing here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sam_wise/sets/72157631710877176/