Thursday, December 27, 2012

collective learning...on tests. not what I call integrity.

During training several months ago, I was warned that cheating is rampant in Cambodia and other PCVs and administrators suggested that this is probably a battle we should choose not to fight as teachers. I heard this advice, but chose to let it slide for the time being I think because I couldn't really fathom the degree to which cheating is acceptable and blatantly obvious. I remember during August seeing grade 12 students take their exam for college entrance with hordes of people waiting outside the gates. These people were not just waiting for them to finish, but they were texting answers to their relatives and "cheat sheets" were being passed through the classrooms or brought in with the students. As trainees, we were told that we don't want to interfere with the system as we could jeopardize the success of students by preventing some from getting the extra boost their classmates were getting. With this knowledge in mind, I entered into a week of testing prepared to be endlessly frustrated. I often approach situation with an even keel or think of the possible worst case scenario, so as not to be disappointed. The cheating was widespread and has left me ruminating over why this feels so different than the educational culture I was raised in and have worked for.

A test day in my prior teaching job was kind of a treat. I think this was a shared feeling amongst my colleagues as you could save up energy you would have used to present a lesson and instead sit back and watch your students work hard. The massive amounts of grading that ensued after were a bit of a pain, but you could see the fruits of your teaching and your students labor (hopefully) pay off. I came in this week ready to set expectations with my coteachers as they agreed we should prevent cheating. We asked the students to move their desks apart, and I told them they should not be talking or looking at their classmates' papers. They nodded fervently and the directions were translated into Khmer for those who did not understand. They seemed to be on the same page as me, so I felt some false confidence that they would follow through. I also explained that the test is to show what they know, not what their friend knows. This was a concept that probably got lost in translation, but I wanted to explain why they should be working on their own. As the test got underway, students turned to talk to friends, students held up their tests for others to see, they took out their notebooks and pieces of paper with prewritten work, they wrote answers and passed them to friends and they spoke (not so quietly) to others to ask questions or provide answers. Now, these things were happening sporadically, not like a constant barrage of cheating, but I was definitely playing whack a mole for two hours. Most of these actions were done not so secretly, even right in front of the teachers. Some students would giggle or had a sheepish grin on their face, but they were generally unapologetic. As a strong advocate against cheating (and as a former student who I swear has never cheated), I want to make ripples and flip this prevalent occurrence of cheating. However, in the moment, I ended up more frustrated and verging on anger than anything else. These emotions have no solution, especially when the root of the problem is a student who has no other option and sees copying as the only answer.

Many of my students hear this when I teach them English (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZXcRqFmFa8). Cambodians study English formally from 7th-12th grade, but many cannot do much more than read and write. The majority of my trainees fall into this category, so when they see a two hour test completely in English they most likely freak out. The common solution for this lack of knowledge and their usual modus operandi in English class is to copy from the classmates who do know, or seem like they know, what's going on. As is common in Asian education systems, the emphasis is on the collective learning and shared knowledge rather than individual performance. Students tend to rely on possibly one student to provide the answers for the rest of the class. If no one else has held them accountable for their own learning, it is difficult to instill this value in students who are 18-24 years old. I am accustomed to working with malleable middle schoolers who are just beginning to develop their sense of right and wrong, and I am out of my element, literally, with a different age group and a foreign culture/education system. Knowledge is seen here as shared endeavor, so the idea of cheating does not carry the same connotation that I was raised with.

When I mentioned this trend to family and friends (even PCVs within Cambodia), they were not only astonished but also generally baffled why they wouldn't want to gain the knowledge for themselves. I explained that often the cheating happens between friends just to get something down on paper, and then result is two tests scoring 3 out of 42. I asked one of my higher level English speakers who is opinionated and did not cheat on his test about why he thinks this is commonplace in Cambodia. He said some teachers are more strict than others on preventing students from copying, but he thinks it comes down to students lacking confidence in the answers. This is definitely the case as about 2/3 of the students in each of my class rarely generate answers of their own, and tend to wait for the answers to be written on the board by their classmates or teachers. When I think back to the repeat offenders in my past teaching job as a 7th grade English teachers, they also seemed to do it for a lack of confidence and desire to turn in something complete, rather than lose points for an incomplete. They also developed an itch to cheat I believe because it had was permissible in the past, either because the teacher didn't care or the student had gotten away with it. In either case, the temptation to cheat feeds on successful exploits.

I had trouble explaining to my coteachers why this is an issue I care so much about and was often left with very few words trying to explain that cheating is "bad" and "wrong". I wondered if I only viewed cheating in this way because I was culturally engrained to whereas I always felt like this value was more of a human instinct. I did start to see glimpses of reality within my frustrations when a student who spoke no English was disadvantaged in their score because I was not allowing them to cheat. They were instead left with blank portions of the test and unintelligible English using letters without forming words. From what I can tell, intellectualism in the setting I teach is not prized. English is a vehicle for some to a better job or opportunity, but many other trainees do not see learning this language as a priority. I hope to push the students willing to go there to promote integrity and a desire to gain knowledge and I hope that my coteachers will strive to do the same.
1st year students in blue (L) and 2nd year in white (R) finishing up the morning flag salute

They seem mostly focused, but you may note the two women in conversation in the back

Tried to help them be quiet with a visual, mildly successful

Statue of a PTTC trainee

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

i did not in fact win the marathon...

Exercising is a common part of a PCV's life in Cambodia. Whether it's going on runs, playing sports with Khmer friends or kids, working out with youtube in your room, or most commonly bike riding, all PCVs partake in some way or another. Even if that person was never a regular excersizer in America, the majority do here out of a combination of excessive free time and the desire to move their body to break from the seated inertia we experience throughout most hours of the day. Exercising (hatt pbraan) is not common for Khmer people and I had to establish myself as a regular hatt pbraaner when I first arrived at site several months ago. My family, as mentioned in past posts, is very understanding of my differences and doesn't question my desire to bike just for exercise or go on runs that turn my face bright red. They know that it is good for one's health and couple the immense amounts of rice I eat with my appetite established through regular workouts. The rest of my town continues to be fascinated by my runs which has prompted me to listen to music in order to tune out the attention I draw for a) being a barang and b) exercising. If I choose to walk a block rather than bike, I'm always asked if I'm exhausted ("hot dtay?"=are you tired??) I was able to explain for the past month that I was exercising to prepare for the Angkor Wat International Half Marathon which would be 21 km. Most students, co-teachers and my family would ask me if I were going to win the race. I would always disappoint them with the truth that it was pretty unlikely that I would, but I was sure to finish it. They were fairly uninterested in this answer and were usually left a bit perplexed as to why I would run the race. They did understand that the allure of this race was probably so I could see some of the temples in the Angkor Wat complex as Khmer people understand this to be the central destination for all tourists/foreigners in Cambodia.

The race took place on Sunday, December 2nd, and I was pretty scared as I came down with a sudden knee pain the few days before. As a person who rarely experiences body issues, it freaked me out and the timing was pretty terrible. I was pretty certain that I wouldn't be able to run as I had trouble walking more than a few blocks without pain, but I headed off to Angkor Wat with about 12 other PCVs who were also running the race at 5:30 AM. My friend Meghan, whose excellent blog about the history of our run is below, made sure that I got my knee wrapped with an ace bandage prior to starting. It worked wonders and I was able to finish the race with no pain at all. The stats of my run were the following: finished 449 out of 840 women who completed the race, 1221 out of 1894 overall and completed the 21 km in 2 hours and 25 minutes. I have never been concerned about my time when running, so I was really happy to have this experience running through the ruins and making it all the way through. I took some running shots, as I refused to stop to take a picture, which can be found on my flickr in addition to the few here. This was my first touristy experience in Cambodia so far, and although I did not take my time inside any temples, which I greatly look forward to doing in the future, I am very happy to have been part of this event. My family was also very proud when I brought home my heavy medal that said "finisher". I tried to explain that everyone who completed the race received one of these, but I just ended up telling them that I won anyway. I think they understood I was joking...

Meghan's blog about the specifics of the temples we saw: http://henshallincambodia.blogspot.com/2012/12/chasing-history.html

Before the start of the race: in front of Angkor Wat 
Many fans lined the roads and this runner was pumped about it
Not exactly sure which temple...but one of my better in action shots
Meghan about to enter one of the gates in Angkor Thom

Saturday, December 8, 2012

bow cow ow

 I could write about so many things such as the Angkor Wat International Half Marathon, returning back to site after some additional Peace Corps training in Takeo, getting back into a teaching schedule (kind of...), but the main focus of this post with be about doing LAUNDRY (bow cow ow). I have spent most blog posts waxing philosophical from which I have been getting positive feedback from readers, but I realized while talking to my (American) mom today that some of the things I now experience as normal, are still probably very confusing to family and friends back home. My social world currently consists of Khmer and PCVs, so things like doing your laundry, working/not-working, biking, pooping and reading are regular topics of conversation. I'm going to take you as best as I can through the process of doing my laundry, which usually takes me between one hour and an hour and a half. My mom asked why I don't take my laundry to someone since doing laundry sounds pretty challenging here. It just becomes another task folded into the day with some slight back discomfort thrown in there. I also realized while documenting this process today that my host family is totally understanding of silly foreigner things I do, such as wearing my big Nikon on my back as I scrub my clothing. They even wanted to take a picture of me so my mom and others could understand what doing your laundry is like in Cambodia. Let's get started:
1) Notice the laundry in the hamper. I usually do my laundry once a week, but sometimes that ends up being a decent amount of clothes. This is behind my house, and no, I don't do my laundry in a sink.


2) Detergent is on the left. I have been using the same bag for approx. 3 months and it costs about 3000 riel (75 cents). The "Hygiene" is fabric softener which is pricier but essential to making your clothes seem cleaner and smell nice. It unfortunately spilled all over my floor today, but now my room smells pretty.
3) Source of my laundry water. We have running water that my family fills this cistern with. Families without running water, like my training host family, use collected rain water.
4) First I put in some detergent, then a small amount of water to wash each clothing item individually. I also sit on this tiny "stool" as I am not truly Khmer and can only squat for maybe a minute comfortably. I blame it on my sizeable muscular legs.
I'm also supposed to scrub each item with a bristle brush to really clean it. If my host family sees me feebly rubbing my clothes together, they make me use the brush. Although it does make clothing fall apart quicker, it really gets stains out as well.
After only a few items of clothing, the once clear water turns murky and the suds quickly disappear.
5 & 6) After "scrubbing" each item (or sometimes just dipping and swishing around), all the clothes go back in the tub and get a lot of water poured on them for rinse #1. Each item is dunked in and out several times to get the soap out. I usually do this standing and bending over. Then you squeeze out each item before a second rinse. Rinse #2 involved some fabric softener. I then let the clothes soak for about 15 minutes before ringing them out and hanging them up. The fabric softener ensures that the poor job I did cleaning will be unnoticeable due to the camouflage of the fresh scent.
Host mom was sure to catch me in the act. She didn't give me any pointers, but I think she gave up on that a while ago. She respects my laundry method at this point, although I'm sure other PCVs and definitely Khmer people would dispute my method. 
7) After each item is wrung out, it is hung up on the clothes line and you really hope that it won't rain at any point during the day. Luckily, we're now in the dry season, so this will most likely be the case. My youngest sister helped me today as she is much more adept at housework than I and she also has become really interested in spending time with me since I've returned back to site.

Formatting makes me exhausted. I'll have to return to the other items initially listed sometime this week. Until then, you can check out some pictures from training P3 and the Angkor Wat Half on my flickr page (http://www.flickr.com/photos/sam_wise/sets/72157632187727135/).

Also a friend sent me this quote: "You need intelligence and you need to look. You need a gaze, a wide gaze penetrating and roving - that's what's useful for art." - Toni Morrison

I do admit, coming back to site this week has been more thought provoking than my first 2ish months at site in that I have been questioning my effectiveness and usefulness a bit more. The things I already take for granted as easy or everyday will in the long run amaze me and widen my perspective. It all seems commonplace and at times monotonous now, but that will not always be the case.

Friday, November 30, 2012

a crazy cambodian night

My last few weeks have been spent reuniting with my fellow PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteers) for an additional bout of training in Takeo. Nothing too notable to share from that time, except for one specific, crazy night. Well, maybe it wasn't that crazy, but the series of random events that occurred where quite different from my normal evenings of eating, lying down, playing on the computer and passing out all before 9 o'clock. I venture to say, it was probably one of the most interesting nights I'll have in terms of village or town life during my time here. During this round of training, we all went back to live with our training host families, however, my original family's toilet was flooded due to the rainy season, so I stayed with a new family. They are great, very welcoming and I was folded into a larger family that a few PCVs had already been a part of. This family invited the four of us to go on a tuk-tuk ride somewhere for some sort of celebration. This is the usual amount of prior knowledge we can gain before being whisked off somewhere. We were all pretty excited about it because we also knew we would be eating one of our favorite meals, num ban chok, which is noodles with curry sauce. The evening started with the landing of Obama in Cambodia and watching what seemed to be a frozen image of his plane for probably 15 minutes. Once Barack and Hillary successfully disembarked, we jumped into a tuk-tuk with approximately 8 other family members, some very small children. As the sun went down and the rice paddies went dark, we were being shuttled along the backroads to an unknown location. The ride got rocky and was reminiscent of a Disneyland Indiana Jones ride with little promise of a safe return. At one point, the moto which pulls the tuk-tuk carriage even detached itself. No problem, it was fixed and we arrived at our first destination for the evening. One of the cousins had taken us to his family's house, which was without electricity, where we were presented delicious food. After we ate until we could no longer move, we learned we might actually be heading to the wat for some sort of celebration called "Katan". Grandma and several more family members jumped in and we set off for the wat. As we drove through the darkness of the rice paddies, a light appeared in the distance. It seemed out of nowhere that this wat with a huge carnival inside appeared at which all the families from Traeng, our training village, seemed to be at. This carnival had food stalls, merry-go-rounds and other small carnival rides, a theater with apsara dancers, games with household prizes and much more multiplied by ten. As we walked through, it felt like we were repeatedly entering the same carnival with slightly different landmarks. At one point, we were pulled into one of the wats where there were diviners who would read your fortune. Us PCVs were not used to such a stimulating and late night, so after an hour or so we were starting to lose steam while our teenage hosts continued to pull us along to visit new friends. They saw us yawning profusely and knew we were ready to go home. Of course at that moment, it started to pour rain so we were sealed inside of our tuk-tuk with a few more family members thrown in (I think we now possessed about 20 members inside) and began our stormy ride home. All of a sudden, we found ourselves in front of our homes and we manoeuvred our way through the lighting and pouring rain down our sandy road to our beds.

Luckily, Kat, a fellow PCV, was able to capture some of this evening as you will see below:

Some of the passengers, including Mark and myself

At the carnival

The beginning of our tuk-tuk journey, with Ryan

One of the merry-go-rounds, Mark and Ryan

I also added some new pictures to the flickr page toward the end of this set; please check them out:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sam_wise/sets/72157631710877176/

Sunday, November 4, 2012

i'm famous!

...in the world of PC Cambodia blogs. Here is a link to my friend and provincemate's blog. He does an excellent job of covering a vast array of topics with visuals. He recently has been featuring PCVs from different provinces; here is mine: http://60x27.com/2012/11/01/volunteers-at-site-11-samantha-weiss/

Thursday, November 1, 2012

t'ngai somrah

Little Khmer lesson for you: say "tongue" then "eye" as quickly together as possible = t'ngai which means 'day'. Somrah means 'rest'. These words together is how you express a holiday or day off work. It seems that many of these have been occurring ever since school officially started on October 1st. This week there are 2, both King related, and last week I also had 2 days off of school for the administration of a test for entrance to the RTTC (Regional Teacher Training Center which trains lower secondary teachers) for my province and the neighboring one. That being said, I have not taught at my school for a bit of time, which has not been too surprising as I was pretty well prepared for the reality of multiple vacation days at schools, often without forewarning. When I correspond with many of you, naturally you ask me how school is going which is my primary job as a volunteer here. I either am not sure how to answer the question due to a lack of information or surprised to get that question as teaching is not what I feel I am primarily doing everyday. My current schedule, without holiday interruptions is as follows:

Monday: 9-11 English at the PTTC, 11-12 English class with my tutor, 3-4 Khmer tutoring, 5-6 English for staff at the PTTC
Tuesday: 11-12 English class with my tutor
Wednesday: 7-9 English at the PTTC, 11-12 English class with my tutor, 3-4 Khmer tutoring, 5-6 English for staff at the PTTC
Thursday: 7-9 English at the PTTC, 11-12 English class with my tutor
Friday: 7-11 English at the PTTC, 11-12 English class with my tutor, 3-4 Khmer tutoring, 5-6 English for staff at the PTTC

Babies taking care of babies: Daibee is a faithful baby sitter
To the average PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer), I might seem quite busy with a total of 21 hours scheduled to teach each week, but this is not quite the full load of teaching, especially that is expected at my primary job at the PTTC (Provincial Teacher Training Center). I only have what I believe to be half of my class load currently there as only the 2nd year trainees are in class currently and the 1st years will begin in December when I return from my additional PC training during November. When I explain the abundant surprise days off I have been experiencing recently to those stateside, my old co-workers are drooling in jealousy in response to the amount of time I am free from my job. Although I used to pray for snow days, I hope to be in the classroom more regularly soon, but I also realize I am susceptible to the system. In future months as I become more familiar with my community and site, I hope to find other opportunities outside of my primary job so I can act rather than sit idly by. This comes with time and more integration into my site.

I mentioned above that my primary job as an English teacher at the PTTC is not what in fact occupies my days. I spend my time exposing my community to running/exercise (hatt bran) by going on runs by the riverside and around the small concrete park roughly every other day, partially in preparation for the Angkor Wat Half Marathon. I read A LOT. I walk around the market and hang out at my friend's num ban chok (noodle soup with flowers) stand to talk to passerbys. I bike around town, sometimes around sunset. I sit around with my family and neighbors who all seem to be aunts, uncles, etc. Some days I feel busy even though I maybe didn't teach that day. But I also won't lie to you that some days, I feel like my sisters work harder than I do caring for baby cousins or attending school for more hours than I currently do. It all balances itself out eventually.

Minutes later, Daibee is ready to head back to school

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

there ain't no party like one for your dead ancestors

When I received my invitation packet to serve as a volunteer in Cambodia last April, one of the pieces of information I recall is that Cambodia has an astounding number of national holidays, maybe the most of any Asian country. Suffice to say, I haven't spent much time in the classroom since arriving to site over a month ago. Part of that is that the school year didn't start until October 1st, but also we are in the midst of one of the three largest holidays of the year, Pchum Ben (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pchum_Ben). I only have a few days off according to my school director to celebrate this holiday, and should be back to work tomorrow unless the passing away of the former King Norodom Sihanouk postpones school further. The celebrations for this holiday have been occurring for 15 days, from Oct. 1st toward the culminating day on the 15th, and each day I saw women dressed in white blouses and ornate sampots head to the wat with Khmer lunchboxes full of offerings for the monks. This small break has been a great opportunity to spend some time with my family and friends to learn what this holiday is all about. I heard some rumors about the holiday, such as, you go to the wat at 4 in the morning and throw rice at the monks to honor your dead ancestors who were relegated to hell. I found this hard to believe, but I did tell everyone I knew that I wanted to go to the wat to see what actually goes on. I prepared myself for disappointment as every plea was responded to with a smile and no concrete plans had been put in place. Planning for the future is something I often do, but is not common among Khmer people who spend more time in the present moment. To my surprise, I ended up being able to celebrate this holiday in three separate instances. My family and friends understood how much I desire to learn about Khmer culture and religion and would not have left me hanging out on my computer solo at home. Many pictures document each day, so please check out my Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sam_wise/sets/72157631710877176/

Part 1: Saturday, Mom's village
Preparing the grounds
The whole neighborhood joined us in my mom's village to head to the wat. Family relations are confusing here, especially when you don't speak Khmer very well, because everyone refers to each other using the terms "aunt, uncle, brother, sister". So even though I understood that many of my neighbors are in fact my mom's siblings or parents, it seems that more are than I even believed. When we arrived in the village, we changed into our white tops and sampots, which are customary to head to the wat and went to the nearby wat. About 40 family members were there and the first thing we did was prepare one of the spirit houses. They cleaned the grounds, set up rice mats, started dishing out food and wrapping offerings. Two monks came over when the preparation was complete to bless the family. After this was complete, we entered the wat which was buzzing with people. I sat and observed as various members of my family would go either to the altar to pray and get incense or bring money to older people with microphones who would then bless them. We then went back to a relative's home, ate a lot in gender separated circles, drank some beer, napped and then headed home. A pleasant day where I was able to meet many new relatives, but no crazy rice throwing had occurred.

Part 2: Monday, Wat Sangsamai with friends
Inside the wat

Note the man holding "Khmer lunchboxes"
A friend here in town understood that I really wanted to go to the wat and celebrate the holiday so she invited me to join her family. Luckily we did not go at 4 AM, even though I originally believed that she invited me to join at that time, but rather 9 AM. Once we arrived at the wat, I saw another friend who I chatted with briefly which recalled feelings of holidays in the States. This gathering at the wat felt like a familiar community, partially because the wat is in my town and I continued to see other familiar faces and co-workers. Beyond the rituals and religious aspects, I also began to recognize the importance of families and friends convening to greet and converse at both wats I had attended. My trip to this wat was very different than the one described above as my friend's family had me follow their footsteps and partake in every ritual they did. That also meant that I needed a lot of instruction as I kept doing things wrong. Buddhists seem to be pretty understanding about this though and I felt comfortable making mistakes in ways that I had not in past experiences at churches or mosques. We first went straight to the front where the monks were sitting, and I knew that it was disrespectful to be standing above the monks so I tried to sit down immediately and then was informed to move all the way down. One of the monks spoke English to me and told me to "give the food to the monks" as I was carrying one of the Khmer lunchboxes. So I started to open it up, but this was meant as a symbolic offering which meant I should just place it in front of him. We bowed, gave some money and we moved on. I followed as they brought food to various offering spots where there were piles of food (I really wondered where it all goes after). We spooned rice into various dishes which was to honor the ancestors and I was told to sit down several times intermittently while incorporating some bowing, since I was profusely sweating, underneath one of the fans. I was brought to the altar to get incense, which we then brought outside to a separate offering area as the incense smoke burned all of our eyes. Some yaays (grandmas) stopped me to talk to me about the usual: "you are so beautiful", "oh you're a volunteer" and grabbed my "white" skin a bit before we headed back inside to sit for a prolonged period of time. It was probably about a 30 minute period, but when you are sitting with your legs bent to one side (the proper way to sit) and discomfort begins to radiate from your joints, it feels more like an hour. I talked to some more women, tried to explain to a yaay that my skin is not white, which is the prized skin color here, but it is in fact dark. I attempted to spread the cultural concept that all skin colors are beautiful (something I try quite often) and she smiled and turned back around. After all this, we headed back home and I ate lunch with my friend's family before a long rest in preparation for some sort of boat ceremony at the riverside later in the afternoon.

Part 3: Monday, Riverside boat festivities
Launching of a larger boat and the mini one inside
I reunited with my friend's family and after explaining several times that I would not ride on their moto, but trail behind on my bike, we took off following a caravan/parade of trucks coming from various wats around town. The trucks had larger boats decorated and made of cardboard roughly the actual size of a row boat, while my friends and many other community members brought miniature versions of boats with offerings. We slowly followed the parade which many new trucks joined and others walked alongside asking the crowds for money/offerings. We made it to the pier and waited for the caravan to arrive. Crowds coalesced which we watched from the gazebo at the end. This festive, carnival-like atmosphere was not what I had seen in the wats so it was hard to understand how these ceremonies were connected. All the monks in attendance were very excited to light things on fire and get the party started. I was taken down to the waterfront and got on a boat with my friend and her son to take their boat off for its launching. Loud fireworks were set off one after another on the boats as the passengers ducked in fear. I didn't find this too scary, although at one point, a spark did land in my hair and a fellow passenger patted it out for me. Everyone on the boat thoroughly enjoyed this and many wanted to smell my burnt hair after. Many sparklers and fireworks were set off as everyone cheered and danced around the boat. The energy on the boat was palpable and I knew that I was very lucky to be able to participate in this event in this way. I am fairly certain that this is one of the more exciting things I will experience during my time here at site. But maybe I'll be proven wrong any time in the next two years when I look back on this post...

Found my sisters and cousins in the crowds
The evening ended with a picnic-style potluck dinner outside my house with about 15 adults sitting around chatting, drinking and eating. It was the most time I've been able to spend with my larger family and was able to get to know them a bit better and have some interesting conversations. I snuck off to bed before the second case of beer was opened.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should

A favorite of mine sprang into my head a few days ago: the Desiderata. Please check it out: http://www.cs.columbia.edu/~gongsu/desiderata_textonly.html

Also this word was passed onto me by a friend:


tardigrade \TAHR-di-greyd\, adjective:
1. Slow in pace or movement.
2. Belonging or pertaining to the phylum Tardigrada.
noun:
1. Also called bear animalcule, water bear. Any microscopic, chiefly herbivorous invertebrate of the phylum Tardigrada, living in water, on mosses, lichens, etc.
The days were long and boring as we walked a continuous almost tardigrade pace around several large buildings, again with empty carbines.
-- Stafford O. Chenevert, Amber Waves of Grain
…the soldiers were struggling and fighting their way after them, in such tardigrade fashion as their hoof-shaped shoes would allow—impeded, but not very resolutely attacked, by the people.
-- George Eliot, Romola
He rolls tardigrade, to a stop on a shoulder, stooped in sand, in its pretense as it doesn't exist and there's only desert…
-- Joshua Cohen, Witz
Related to the common word tardytardigrade comes from the Latin word tardigradus meaning "slow-paced."

As life is slower in Cambodia and as a PCV, it's interesting to consider the negative connotations of the word "tardy" and compare it to the concept of "slow-paced". When I arrived tardy to a class I was observing today, it was due to rain which slows things down here. If I had done so in America, I would have to apologize profusely and make an excuse. It just goes without saying here, which I think will be sometimes a bit liberating and simultaneously frustrating.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

"Do you have free time today?"

It's been a month since I arrived at my site, and it has simultaneously flown by/crawled at a snails pace. If you notice a similar theme running through my blog posts thus far, I would say it's due to an approach I've been taking to my time here. My dad gave me a book many years ago that I happened to bring with me as one of my few non-electronic books: "Wherever You Go There You Are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He writes about many Buddhist principles, mindfulness and being present in terms of the practice of meditation and weaving these concepts into everyday living. I have been reading a chapter or two each morning in an attempt to change my mindset from a momentum based non-stop work ethic to one of flexibility and understanding. One of the reasons I came here was to do just this and transition from my hectic life teaching at a high stakes inner-city charter school, and this is definitely the antidote to my former life. School started up this past week after three weeks dedicated to living here and familiarizing myself with my town. I have an incredibly difficult time sitting still, so this has proven to be a trying time for me. I am happy to say that due to coming here with an open mind, it has been surprisingly easy to become accustomed to the pace at which I approach each day. Literally, I begin to wear a watch less, unless I'm working, as an attempt to let time flow a bit more organically. Since I tend to be a very analytical/philosophical thinker, my mind is preoccupied with these thoughts for much of my day, so part of sharing my lifestyle here, is sharing what's in my busy little head.

On another note, school did start last week which was not what as I was necessarily expecting as I have heard that many schools did not really start until after the Pchum Ben holiday which is around the 15th of October, but really began October 1st. Here are some selections of notes that I took on the first day of school:

*Arrive at 7, no one is here as it is raining except for a JICA (Japan International Cooperation Agency) volunteer
*Invited into her office which has many electronic pianos and computers (maybe a staff lounge?)
*Spoke to a psychology teacher who knew a lot of English, he said he didn't know the schedule for the day or when classes would even start; in fact he thought that the director was at a workshop through this week
*Director shows up (I breathe a sigh of relief) then facilities guy shows up and gets to clearing out a desk for me immediately (doesn't seem most teachers have desks, only the other volunteer)
*Some other teachers show up as do some students, no sign of action at 8:30
*Meeting begins at 9 (pictures below), seems semi-official as I am instructed to sit at a table with artificial flowers up front along with the three Japanese volunteers and the school director
*All volunteers introduce themselves to the 60ish second year trainees in attendance, I give an impromptu Khmer speech; other teachers give some words of wisdom it seems, when asked if I had anything to contribute to that, I declined
*Students are then released to do the inaugural school cleaning; I awkwardly loiter around my new office while other teachers seem to be playing games on the computers - I am informed school would not start until two days from then so I head home for lunch

Although I am not teaching at a high school or primary school so this experience was not directly comparable to my first days of school as a student and teacher in the States, this was definitely very different than I had imagined.

Infrastructure does not inhibit learning
Teacher Trainees














School starting means that I now have more of a regular schedule. In addition to a 2-4 hours of teaching at the PTTC, I am continuing to teach an English class several hours a week to staff at my school and have just begun assisting my tutor in teaching one of his free English classes each day. He is a great teacher to work alongside, and he has great students who are eager and curious learners which is not too common among Khmer students who tend to be more reserved and obedient (which is a huge difference from my years teaching American students). One of my co-teachers referred to the teacher trainees who range in age from 18-28 "dull" and further explained that they tend to listen but not respond too often. Critical thinking is not a common task asked of students throughout there education here and groupwork dominates individual thought production. This is evident whenever a student is called on, it is a class effort to help that student complete the task at hand. Students are not often held responsible to generate independent thought. I look forward to changing that.

This semblance of a schedule means I have less "free time" which is a common refrain I hear from new "friends" or students that I talk to: "Teacher/Sam, do you have any free time?" I'm still working on what this truly means when it is asked of me as the Khmer concept of free time is not the same as mine. I can happily report that I think I have begun to make some Khmer friends, some women who are around my age and also some characters in the market. It may be too early to say, but I shall call them my friends for the time being. It's sometimes hard to determine someone's motive in coming to talk to me or expressing interest in spending time with me as I was warned before coming that people just like to be seen with the token foreigner or may want free English lessons. I like to think that these people do not belong in that category as I do not get those vibes from them and one even bought me chocolate ice cream at the Tela (a pricey treat that equals true friendship). When I am not making plans with new friends, I still spend plenty of time with my sisters and the neighborhood gaggle of children. Today I made them brownies (although it turned out to be more chocolate cakey) for the second time which we now also associate with watching "Mulan". I like to think of this as a session of culture sharing. Notice how enthralled they are below:

Mulan in English, I think they still got it
Please check out some new pics of ongui langing here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sam_wise/sets/72157631710877176/

Thursday, September 27, 2012

PV in pictures

Here are pictures of my permanent site to help you visualize what I've been talking about:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sam_wise/sets/72157631632655779/

Enjoy! Comments are always loved :)

Letting go...a little bit

If you know me well, I like being in control. I am generally the person electing to be in charge of a trip with friends, selecting the general itinerary and the schedule for the day. My friends understand this about me and usually give me free reign to do so. As I integrate into my new home, I have to realize that the culture I am trying to learn from and join will require some letting go of my desire to control. No problem, I got this; that's why I joined Peace Corps, right? I have daily reminders of this struggle as I try to set a schedule for myself that is susceptible to flexibility and change. A couple events yesterday highlighted this feeling and reminded me of the importance of flexibility because in that moment, there are usually the greatest opportunities to learn. When I arrived here several weeks ago, I quickly realized there is some sort of music shop/band practice space next to my house. Sounds cool, but as they played their electric instruments for 3 straight hours that first day, I was concerned this was a daily occurrence. Luckily this was not the case, however, the practices have picked back up after a few weeks with full force since the band is preparing for a "concert" of some sort at the park on Sunday. Although their newly installed stage and giant speakers shook my house all afternoon, I was able to sleep and (kind of) study some Khmer before I headed off to tutoring.
Rock on
After tutoring, I headed off to teach English to the School Director of my PTTC and a Math teacher at the school. The attendance is not a constant, but these women are the most dedicated and enthusiastic students. After class has begun, a man shows up who had come to class the prior week and, as usually is the case in Cambodia, I was not totally clear on his relation to the school or the other students. He knows a lot of English so he was helpful to have around for translations or to boost participation. This class started to feel different as after every sentence I uttered, he had something to add or alter the way I was teaching. As a prideful person bordering on the edge of stubborn, this began to gnaw at me. I was thinking "who does this guy think he is?" and "why doesn't he just teach instead of me?" I soon realized that he is in fact the husband of my school director and, when I stopped thinking so much about myself, I began to see that his perspective and methods were a helpful alternative to mine. Once I let go of my ego, I saw that he was not trying to override my authority as a woman (a constant gender refrain in my head), but was just wanting to help out. I understood from my observations that this was not the first time he had done this either. He had in fact been a high school English teacher for 10 years before his current job teaching computers and technology at the university. This realization was a good check for me as I will begin co-teaching with counterparts (Khmer English teachers) the following week. I am not there to steer the course of their class, I am there to support, teach, learn, absorb and be humbled at times. No matter how much I may think I know, there is always room for growth and I have to make space in myself and within those I work with.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Becoming Leo – How to be present and mindful


I’ve been ruminating on some blog topics in my free time, when I’m not busy with the schedule I have created for myself consisting of reading, studying Khmer, hanging with my family, biking and ongui/dao (sitting/wandering) langing around town. Sitting and reading with my sister has become a recent passion of mine in a case of the blind leading the blind whereas my mom has to correct both of us as we pretend to read in Khmer. In a discussion with my (American/biological) dad today, all paths in our discussion led back to Leo, my favorite giant dog in Berkeley. Most conversations in my family lead back to dogs or poop relating to dogs, which isn’t too far off from most of my discussions in Cambodia, but this one was a bit different. I remarked on how I went on a run this morning, but as I do everytime I leave my house and enter the streets, market, etc. I have to brace myself for the stares. The stares that come from mostly men, as they are the predominant players on the streets, in the restaurants, sitting around, usually make me frustrated and angry. I am no stranger to this attention from my travels and time studying abroad in Morocco, but it is always a new challenge in any country. When explaining this reality to my dad, he said, “That’s just like being Leo, everywhere he goes…stares”. If you haven’t met my dog, here he is:

Not your typical Khmer dog
I have grown up with Scottish deerhounds my whole life, so I see this face as familiar, while others may have other opinions due to their lack of knowledge. So their reaction is thus to stare which is sometimes accompanied by comments. Similarly, a female barang (foreigner) running down the streets of my town is enough to cause the same reaction. I am quick to take this attention personally and become protective of myself and almost disgusted by this display. However, I do understand that the way I interpret this behavior is quite different than the cause for it; which is to say that they are staring out of fascination and difference.

The best part about Leo, maybe because he’s a dog but also because of his amazing resilience, is that he could care less about all the stares, and sometimes bounces more as he walks along without regard for those beyond himself. My dad described this as Leo being the poster-being of how to be present and mindful. I try to take the same attitude to the streets of Cambodia as I realize that my differences cause stares, which is not necessarily such a bad thing. It is the reality of showing up as an American volunteer in a town not comprised of such beings. This is the beginning of cultural exchange. It’s what you do with that fascination, curiosity and attention to difference that matters.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Locomotion

Got this quote from a friend...

 "Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race." H. G. Wells

As I ran through my town today which is a completely foreign activity for most, especially to see a female barang (foreigner) do so, I think of the number of people just watching me and what they might be thinking. I also wonder if their interest in my choice of activity will wane over time and this becomes a fixture in their landscape. Time will tell. This also connects to a conversation I was having with my host family as they saw me laboriously trying to clean my dirty clothes. First of all, my host family thinks that I'm pretty hopeless when it comes to completing basic tasks: laundry, cooking, choosing the correct route to the market, purchasing food without being overcharged, etc. They are correct to assume so since this is all new to me. They are extremely patient and aim to ease my transition as much as they can. Back to the laundry...we discussed how Americans have machines to do tasks such as these, while Khmer do things by hand and are therefore more industrious (paraphrase as that word was clearly no discussed in Khmer). I observe this basic concept as I wander or bike around town each day. I see this replicated in a myriad of ways I do not even understand yet. I see people who are resourceful and make do with what they are given. Although I have not in fact begun my primary job within my PTTC, each day I am trying to learn more about my community, my family and the individuals I meet who demonstrate this notion.

Yesterday I practiced reading the Khmer (pronounced ka-mai) alphabet with my sisters as my 6-year-old sister is also learning to read. We try to teach one another somewhat successfully.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The last two months in PICTURES

It's what you've all been waiting for and I used the mighty power of my internet stick to make it happen. Enjoy. I will be posting the majority of my pictures to flickr, but will also post here when I do so. First two sets on the page are from Cambodia, but you should be able to figure that out without my help :).

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sam_wise/sets/

Too many titles to choose just one...

Much has happened since my prior post expressing the limbo I was experiencing, namely I have moved to my permanent site and am trying to figure out what is going on here. The following titles came to mind when I tried to summarize my past few days in my new home:

(1) PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteer) in the age of technology
(2) Welcome to my province, Prey Veng
(3) Anti-Anti-American Sentiments (double negative work here?)
(4) Working on my "ongui lang-ing" OR Extracting my type-Aness/Khmer-ing myself (sorry for the many creation of new nouns, especially in Khmer)

I will describe each title in a bit more detail to get you up to speed.
(1) As I separate from my new support network of 58 PCVs, I realized that our access to internet and phones does a lot to keep us feeling not too far away from one another. When I speak with friends and family from home, they remind me of this circumstance that would not be so if I was a volunteer 5 or 10 years ago. In our transition from Trainees to Volunteers, we became closer friends right before we would be spread among the provinces of Cambodia and unable to see one another for a couple of months. Luckily (or maybe unluckily) we have the access to technology to enable us to reach out to one another. I say unluckily as well because I sometimes feel this access to internet makes it more challenging to break out of my comfort zone at my desk and experience what is outside. I make time for both each day and hope I can continue to balance comforts with discomforts.
(2) After anxiously waiting for about 2 months, I finally got my permanent site in an exciting and visually stimulating presentation organized by PC Staff and Volunteers. After a grounding and hilarious speech from our country director about what it means to stay throughout your service when times are tough, we entered a large room with a map of Cambodia taped onto the floor. They called out our names as our faces flashed on the screen with superlatives chosen by our fellow volunteers. Then our site was announced which I was unable to hear or process since I believe I blacked out in all of the excitement. My superlatives were: "Easiest PCT to Talk To", "Most Humble", "Best Teacher" and the best - "Most Likely to Make it to Mordor and Possess the One Ring". I'm not trying to brag because all PCVs had pretty sweet superlatives. I am placed in Prey Veng with two K6s in nearby(ish) towns and three K5s who are already here. I had not heard of it, but then again I only knew of a handful of provinces within Cambodia. It is one of the more overlooked and quieter provinces, but I was assured that it is a great province to be placed. It is only a couple of hours from Phnom Penh and depending on which route you take, you can cross the Mekong on a ferry. This was the route I took to my home a few days ago and we initiated ourselves into the province by eating what another volunteer called "the potato chips of Prey Veng" (crickets and other critters). They were quite tasty and not as crunchy as you would expect. I will explain much more in depth about Prey Veng in future posts with pictures as I will be here for 2 years, so I'll just leave you in suspense. In a few words, the provincial town is very pretty, but small and manageable feeling. There is a lake adjacent to the market which is a great size and another PCV told me there is a monkey island in the lake. I could not ask for more in a site.
(3) I was talking to my dad and he mentioned the idea of Anti-American sentiments; I can't quite remember why but I know it was because we were talking on 9/11. I have been told time and time again that Cambodians very much like Americans. I have been feeling their warmth, namely within my new host family that is so welcoming and supportive. I also feel this when I enter the Department of Education unannounced and have discussions with the staff there or when I am walking through the market and the women are excited to hear me attempt speaking Khmer (pronounced Kumai which I only learned at staging in DC). I feel safe and less like a spectacle than I expected to be entering a town not too familiar with foreigners.
(4) I arrived at my site a few days ago (I am trying not to count exactly how many as I believe this will be bad for my mental health) and I find myself without a schedule for the first time in I don't know how long. Khmer are really good at this thing called "ongui lang"-ing which basically means "sitting around". I have a few packets provided by PC to structure my gathering of baseline data on my new site and if you know me well, you know I'm trying to complete them all within my first week. I realize that getting to know a new town does not happen in a week, and I am struggling to set realistic expectations for myself for a given time period. I am trying to understand the almost meditative mindset, as my dad pointed out, that Khmer have when it comes to the passing of time and the value of conversation and sitting around. This well definitely take me at least two years but maybe a lifetime to wrap my head around. However, I do have a great start if it really is the case that my Provincial Teacher Training Center (PTTC), where I will be working with counterparts to train primary school teachers, does in fact start in December. I very much hope this was a miscommunication as my school director does not speak English, but until then I will be working on my ongui lang-ing.

Until more of this town and my work here reveals itself, here is a picture of what it looks like to chill with my little sisters who can use a knife better than I can...


Sunday, September 2, 2012

4 day countdown...

In just 4 short days (or really long if you approach life at the speed I do) I will know my fate for the next two years. With just a few days left in my training village prior to site announcements, my mind almost draws a blank when I think forward to where I might end up. It is almost similar to before I left the states and I had no idea what to expect, but at this point I have some schema and knowledge to draw from when I construct my future life in Cambodia. All I really know is everything will be undoubtedly different from living in a small village with 28 other volunteers. Today on my day off, I had my language proficiency test where I answered questions in Khmer for about 12 minutes about a variety of topics such as comparing the weather in the US vs. Kampuchea, my favorite Khmer foods, and my free time activities. For the remainder of the day, I was faced with the reality of a relaxed, easy going existence where I must remind myself that the spaces and lulls are what it is all about. I just really need to learn to slow down. Until then, I'll be counting down the days :)...

Friday, August 17, 2012

Climate change in Kampuchea

The ETTT (English Teachers/Teacher Trainers) just completed our first week out of two of practicum where we teach Khmer students for three hours each morning. This week we just taught in groups of trainees (meaning only Americans) and then next week we teach with Khmer counterparts which is what we will do at our permanent site. My class is an eleventh grade class that continued to grow over the course of the week with new students popping up everyday to a grand total of approximately 50 students. Never have I experienced such a kind, respectful, hardworking and focused group of young people. Classroom management is not the issue that it is in America. While we generally teach from the EFC (English for Cambodia), which is a government creation with British funding, today I expanded on the usual vocabulary and grammar to discuss climate change with my students. Then we proceeded to clean up our classroom. My Berkeley-ness could not be contained as I spouted ideals and asked my students "how can we stop climate change?". I was a proud teacher today...

Monday, August 6, 2012

Just keep swimming

As many of you may know, I am currently in Phnom Penh as a result of contracting dengue fever. Before you google it, just know that I am doing totally fine and have basically no symptoms. It's a precaution Peace Corps takes to make sure we are healthy and don't get worse by taking us out of the training community. Over a dozen volunteers have gotten it this year so far, so they are pretty used to dealing with these cases well. I've been here for about 3 days and will probably stay a few more. In the meantime, I have been lucky enough to continue language learning with a tutor. Note the "whiteboard" below...

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Weekend time

Biked 8 km to the cool Mart in the big city of Takeo. Brief break from the usual 4 hrs of language and 4 hrs of technical training from Monday to Saturday.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Triang sounds like training

Speaking with my mom on my Cambodian cellphone reminded me that my life is not so normal, but the day to day stays pretty much stays the same. I realize that my current life could not be much more opposite from my life in Boston. Training has commenced which also means that my life has become pretty simple, minus the immense amount of culture and language inundation. I'll be accessing internet roughly once a week, but my technological abilities here are minimal since I have not yet figured out how to post pictures at the internet cafe. Sorry mom (and others), you all may have to hold tight for several weeks before I figure out this picture posting thing. Until then, imagine my cows, dogs, my room which is most similar to a treehouse, multiple chickens and the chanting monks at the wat next door as the typical start to my everyday.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

"switch to bicycle life"

At our hubsite for training in Takeo, I was gifted (temporarily) my set of wheels for the next 8 weeks and I appropriately found a nice shiny red friend with the emblem above. I apologize for the current lack of picture and fotos in general, but they will show up when I next have access to Internet. Speaking of, I'm headed to the ETtT (challenging acronym for English Teacher/Teacher Trainer, say it 3 times fast) training village 8 km away in Triang for the majority of the next 2 months. There I will meet my host family looking like a proper Khmer lady to the best of my ability wearing a sampot and tailor made white shirt. We will be blessed by monks at a wat and then off to spend quality time with our host families. Although Internet access will be more scarce than here, I'll be writing back here in Khmer in no time at all...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Vaccinated, set, GO!

After two days of packed info sessions at the comfortable and luxurious PC Cambodia headquarters, complete with ac and plenty of great food, we are embarking on the next step of training in Takeo tomorrow. My access to Internet will be less often than in the shmancy capital of Phnom Penh, but will update when possible. In the meantime, updated address for my whole service is below if you want to send me anything pretty. If you are planning on doing so, we were advised that the most secure mail is sent in those US postal service "priority mail" boxes.

Corrected mailing address:
Samantha Weiss
PO Box 2453
US Embassy
Cambodia
Asia

Some pics to come later...

Friday, July 13, 2012

Over and out

Officially a volunteer in training...next step being sworn in in a few months. Looking forward to touching the soil of Phnom Penh shortly (after a 23 hr flight, overnight in bangkok and subsequent day of travel). Will update whenever I have Internet next, but util then, enjoy this buffalo from dc!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Skymall: life's newest solutions



My flight back east today not only taught me about the newest American inventions, such as potty training system for cats and "Cat tree tees", but it also included the holy grail of training emails where I received a much anticipated basic schedule and expectations for the duration of the training period. The information is as follows:
Phnom Penh to Takeo: blue to yellow
7.13 - 7.14: Dulles to Bangkok
7.14 - Arrive in Bangkok, overnight at hotel
7.15 - Bangkok to Phnom Penh
7.15 - 7.17: Phnom Penh: Initial orientation and introductions
7.18 - Bus to Takeo Provincial town (FYI: limited internet until swear in, and possibly there after...)
7.21 - 9.7: Takeo Province (specific village TBD) - training, live with a small group of volunteers and a training host family
9.7 - Takeo: Swear In

Mailing address for the time being - it will be brought to my training site:

Attn: PCT Samantha Weiss
Peace Corps/Cambodia
No 7A, Street 256, P.O. Box 2453,
Sangkat Chak Tomouk, Khan Daun Penh,
Phnom Penh

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Last day in Berkeley

Nothing says goodbye like a crazy man dancing in front of cheeseboard pizza. It really felt like the perfect Berkeley scene when this man encountered, as he pushed his shopping cart, a stroller and a woman with a walker. I'll miss this place.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Disclaimer

The contents of this Web site are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. Government or the Peace Corps.

it has begun! (the blog)

Hi all,

it has finally hit that i'm on the last leg of my journey prior to starting in cambodia in just a couple of weeks. as promised, i have started a blog that i will hopefully be able to update regularly (which i'm sure will take on new meaning) once in cambodia. i imagine it will be more photographs than writing as per my usual fascinations of imagery. until i embark july 13th (not the most auspicious date/my luck number), i'll be available at the following contact information:

510.414.3549 (not sure what will happen with my # after that...)
Berkeley, CA - contact me if you want my snail mail

hasta pronto,

sam